I was all set today to write a post about the things we will be doing this year to prepare my son for kindergarten next year. But the Lord had different plans for me today. We took our children to our former church tonight so they could participate in the singing the children do there every Wednesday. They were singing a song I had never heard of, but it was about how God is still working on us. The part that struck me the most was the part that talked about how patient God must be as we stumble and as we sin against Him.
This made me want to come home and look up "patient" in my concordance. As usual, when my children were in the wrong today, I wasn't patient with them. I raised my voice too many times. I was quick to assume things, quick to yell. I certainly wasn't being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger (James 1:19). As I pondered my reactions and this verse and looked it up, I took the time to read the entire verse. (Am I the only one that continually finds amazing things I have missed in God's word??) Do you know what the rest of this verse says?? The verse finishes with these words...for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. How many times do I get angry and yell at my children and expect them to behave in a godly manner because I have raised my voice at them? Do I really think that makes them want to obey me and God's word? Oh, I have much to learn.
Proverbs 15:1 tells me "a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Do my children need correction? Absolutely. Do I have to lose control and yell at them to bring about a righteous change in their behavior? Absolutely not. I do not want my children to look back at their childhood and remember that their mother yelled at them alot. I do not want to be a hypocrite that teaches her children that the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22&23), and yet I don't exhibit those things myself.
And so I have renewed vision today, and because of that I have renewed hope, because we all know that "where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18). Interestingly, the footnote for this verse in the ESV Bible says that "where there is no prophetic vision, the people are discouraged." So I will be encouraged today that the Lord will bring me closer to his will for me by helping me to be more patient and gentle when my children need correction.
Lord, thank you for leading me to the Scriptures you know I need to see. Please help me to remember that raising my voice in anger or frustration at my children is not a way to produce the righteousness of God in them. Amen.
Don't you wish we had a clamp over our mouths when those sharp words come out of our mouths toward our children . . . or maybe a rewind button so we could go back and redo it again. Hugs, tears and "I'm so sorry" from mommy makes little too harshly rebuked hearts feel so much better . . . showing them that I need Jesus too and that the mistakes I make show me how much I need HIM. I was not ever apologized to as a child when wrong rebuking took place. Today, I see the hurt that this causes and I do apologize to them and confess my sin to them. I ask them to "pray for mommy . . . she so desperately needs Jesus to help her be more patient, loving and use a nicer tone." It makes them run to my arms with forgiveness on their hearts . . . "we love you, mommy" they say and their huggers show they do!!! Love you and I know He is working out His way in you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for a frequently needed reminder! You live next door, so I'm sure you hear MANY times when I'm not "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger", also. Your posts have been a blessing to me (and probably indirectly to my family as well). You are a dear friend and a wonderful mother. Your loving and patient moments FAR outnumber the moments of which you speak in this post. We all have our moments and that's just one of the reasons I am so grateful for God's grace. May we continue to open our hearts to Him as He "keeps workin on us" and makes us into the mothers He wants us to be.
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