A Quick Trip Down Memory Lane

     I realized today that my mother's birthday is coming up soon. She would have been 62 this year. She would have aged gracefully, but she would have fought it with every age-defying serum she could buy. I am like my mom in so many ways, yet so different. I inherited her love for antiques and old houses and perennial gardens. She thought Christianity was a nice thing to do sometimes on Sundays. I truly desire to glorify Jesus with everything I do. She would love and spoil her grandchildren, but she probably would have thought I am crazy for homeschooling them.
     I still cannot believe she has been gone for seven years now. If there ever was a bible verse to describe her, it would have been Proverbs 31:25~"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." She was a dignified woman. One thing I remember from my childhood is that she always dressed up when I had any programs at church or when she attended my sporting events or school programs. She did not leave the house without looking her best.
     But by the end of her life, she couldn't laugh at the days to come.  She became a totally different person when her illness struck. Little by little the dignified mother I knew began doing things that she knew were not normal, but she just couldn't fight it. As she shuffled into the emergency room that beautiful fall day because we knew something was wrong, I knew my world was about to change. And fast. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor the day before Thanksgiving in 2002. She was so relieved to know she wasn't going crazy. I fought for breath as if someone had knocked the air out of me as my dad told me the diagnosis.  God had amazingly orchestrated the events in my life at that time so that I could be there every day to help my Dad take care of  my mom. I wouldn't have been able to handle it if I hadn't been there every day.
     The cancer was fierce and Mom was gone by May of 2003. I was only 24 when I lost my mom. She never saw her grandchildren. I can't call her when I need parenting advice. It hurt then and it hurts now to not have my mom around.
     But boy...did God ever teach me a few things from this experience. Number 1-Let God lead you. I remember feeling like a crazy person when I told my husband in the summer of 2002 that I was going to quit the teaching job I had for the 2002-2003 school year before I even started! And for some reason, my husband gave me his blessing to "figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life." But in hindsight, this was God's way of making me available to be with my mom during her illness. Praise God for leading us through our husbands!! Number 2-I wish I could tell every rebellious, grumbling teenager to truly treasure and honor and obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1, Exodus 20:12) because you never know if these are some of the last days you will spend with them. I regret every time I had an attitude with my mother as a teenager.  I regret every little thing we argued about while planning our wedding (after all, my parents did pay for the event!!).
     My mom wasn't perfect. But she was my mom and I still miss her. Maybe soon I'll post the eulogy I read at her funeral that shared all the ways she was a good mom. Thanks for allowing me to reminisce.
     Lord, thank you for the lessons I learned from my mom's life and death. Please allow me to not take for granted the people I love, and help me get better at expressing to them how they bless me. Amen.